We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
