So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
