Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
