Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
