I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
