it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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