How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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