And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
