I'm pants shitting drunk right now
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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