You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
