It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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