plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
