I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize