if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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