I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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