Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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