so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
