it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
