He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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