No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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