____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize