You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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