i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
And then my night got REAL pukey
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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