you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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