is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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