I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
FUCK WHALES
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
