Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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