ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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