I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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