My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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