I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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