You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize