I cannot find my penis.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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