It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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