I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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