I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
