I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
