The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
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