bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
