I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
