Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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