Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize