it hurts more in the daytime
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
