Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
