I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
