you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
