Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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