I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
