I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
