I'm eating all of the evidence.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
