Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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