i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
