"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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