So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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