he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize