You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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