we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Randomize
