She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
