The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
