You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
