Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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