i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
