So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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