I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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