So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
