I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
