those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize