i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Randomize
