Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
