You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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