I can tuck mytits in my pants
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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