The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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