You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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