What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
