she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Randomize
