the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
