in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
