you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
