Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
