He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
