we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
