You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
